Being the self-absorbed person I am (and working alone in my empty house), I have lots of time to contemplate all the things I should be doing, critiquing the things I am already doing, wishing to be a nicer, more open person, wanting to be confident. How does one move from the thinking to the doing?
In an earlier post, I noted that I have been taking tennis lessons. I have really enjoyed the one-on-one lesson where I learn my forehand, backhand, serving, volleying, etc. Last Saturday, I took my first group class (4 Saturdays). At the beginning, I enjoyed doing drills with myself and one other woman who does not play tennis. However, she is athletic and has a history in numerous sports, so she excelled. Later, a third person entered our lesson. As the lesson progressed, the coach wanted it to be a competition between the three of us. I loathe competition. I never wanted to compete physically or intellectually. I really don’t want to start now. I have three lessons ahead and already dreading the next competitive lesson. Here is when I get self-critical again: am I just giving up? I will most likely still go to the lesson but will be more prepared (emotionally) for the competitiveness.
Guess I will stick to solo practices for the future, the only competition with that is with myself.