Self-reflection

Being the self-absorbed person I am (and working alone in my empty house), I have lots of time to contemplate all the things I should be doing, critiquing the things I am already doing, wishing to be a nicer, more open person, wanting to be confident.  How does one move from the thinking to the doing?

In an earlier post, I noted that I have been taking tennis lessons.  I have really enjoyed the one-on-one lesson where I learn my forehand, backhand, serving, volleying, etc.  Last Saturday, I took my first group class (4 Saturdays).  At the beginning, I enjoyed doing drills with myself and one other woman who does not play tennis.  However, she is athletic and has a history in numerous sports, so she excelled.  Later, a third person entered our lesson.  As the lesson progressed, the coach wanted it to be a competition between the three of us.  I loathe competition.  I never wanted to compete physically or intellectually.  I really don’t want to start now.  I have three lessons ahead and already dreading the next competitive lesson.  Here is when I get self-critical again: am I just giving up?  I will most likely still go to the lesson but will be more prepared (emotionally) for the competitiveness.

Guess I will stick to solo practices for the future, the only competition with that is with myself.

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