Last night was the second time I did not put my son to bed. The first time was at my husband’s Holiday Party last December; the second time (last night) was another work party.
Despite being saddened by not seeing my son go to bed, I really wanted to have a great time. The party was great, although, at times, claustrophobic. The fashion show and acrobatics were a lot of fun to watch. However, as the time got closer to 9 and then 10 pm, I was completely done with the entire event. I was glad to be able to be a part of it. But the anti-social old lady emerged and was tired and withdrawn. I don’t think I could have feigned a conversation if my life depended on it.
Since Roger received his diagnosis, I see aspects of myself that he has acquired. And I learn more about myself and my own quirks that could be classified as sensory processing issues. They do not affect me as much as they do my son and I am able to reasonably function with my issues. Unlike my son, who sometimes gets so withdrawn or so distracted that it can be nearly impossible to get his attention.
Knowledge is power. Learning why Roger does this or that but not this nor that has opened my eyes. I still have so much to learn — about him, about myself, about the world.
Here’s to more knowledge!
Spinning Wheels 