Week 6 of Summer

Thus far, for me, summer is a bummer!  I just can’t find my happy.  I know I am being vague.  I really don’t feel like writing but hoping it may get me a tad out of this bad mood.  I felt pretty okay the end of last week.  Saturday was very stressful for various reasons regarding our dogs and pain and workload and energy.  However, Sunday I felt much better.  Unfortunately, that feeling was fleeting.

This week began in a shambles.  Monday I had a sitter for Roger, since there was no camp and no therapy that day.  I felt like a prisoner in one room to get my work done.  Yesterday, I also had physical therapy.  It lasted longer than intended and I started stressing about all the time I am missing from work for all these therapies.  This morning I woke up feeling much the same, stressed, tired, terrible headache and tinnitus that I just cannot ignore anymore.  Again, I had another physical therapy appointment and, again, stressed over missing work time.  The headaches and tinnitus are just so constant as of late.  This headache must be at least a month old.  The tinnitus is about a decade old but the volume of the past week has increased greatly.  I feel like it is making me completely crazy.  I am in such a bad mood all day long.  I feel terrible for my son and husband, but especially for my son because he does not understand why I am in a bad mood so often.  He asked my husband what was wrong with me on Saturday.

Today, I called my therapist and made an appointment for tomorrow (even more time to make up for work) and had a friend recommend a psychiatrist.  I am getting so depressed as of late that I don’t want to keep sinking deeper.  This calendar is filling up pretty quickly with more and more appointments.  Now, I just have to figure out when I can have a full day of rest.  I do not know if I can wait until the end of August!