Thus far, for me, summer is a bummer! I just can’t find my happy. I know I am being vague. I really don’t feel like writing but hoping it may get me a tad out of this bad mood. I felt pretty okay the end of last week. Saturday was very stressful for various reasons regarding our dogs and pain and workload and energy. However, Sunday I felt much better. Unfortunately, that feeling was fleeting.
This week began in a shambles. Monday I had a sitter for Roger, since there was no camp and no therapy that day. I felt like a prisoner in one room to get my work done. Yesterday, I also had physical therapy. It lasted longer than intended and I started stressing about all the time I am missing from work for all these therapies. This morning I woke up feeling much the same, stressed, tired, terrible headache and tinnitus that I just cannot ignore anymore. Again, I had another physical therapy appointment and, again, stressed over missing work time. The headaches and tinnitus are just so constant as of late. This headache must be at least a month old. The tinnitus is about a decade old but the volume of the past week has increased greatly. I feel like it is making me completely crazy. I am in such a bad mood all day long. I feel terrible for my son and husband, but especially for my son because he does not understand why I am in a bad mood so often. He asked my husband what was wrong with me on Saturday.
Today, I called my therapist and made an appointment for tomorrow (even more time to make up for work) and had a friend recommend a psychiatrist. I am getting so depressed as of late that I don’t want to keep sinking deeper. This calendar is filling up pretty quickly with more and more appointments. Now, I just have to figure out when I can have a full day of rest. I do not know if I can wait until the end of August!