Tuesday

Today was another productive morning:  loaded the dishwasher, did another load of laundry, took out the garbage and recycling, got the pups ready for their grooming (which my husband took them to on his way to work), cleaned up a kitty mess from being stuck in the laundry room overnight, got Roger ready for camp and did Headsprout with him before he left.

Again, I was able to ride the FitDesk for a little over an hour while I worked.  This morning I was incredibly hot — probably hot flashes — and I decided to take a quick shower afterwards.  That helped me immensely.  I also switched to wearing a very light summer dress.  I feel so much better now.

Routine excites me more than anything out of the ordinary!

Quick update:  my back gave it’s notice for the rest of day.  It is hurting so bad.  Should be fun lugging stuff to the pool….

Week 4 of Summer

Oh how I love Mondays!  That is not sarcasm.  I really do love the feel of Mondays.  I get to start a new week and get everything organized!

Before work, I was able to put away the dishes, refill the dishwasher, do some laundry and do Roger’s “homework” with him.  Also, thanks to my Roomba, I was able to get the downstairs vacuumed while I worked.

On a healthy note, I rode my FitDesk for 63 minutes.  Hooray!  And today’s food intake has been healthy (so far).  Unfortunately, my arms are (have been) hurting.  I am certain it is caused by pinched nerves due to my herniated discs.  I am looking forward to my orthopedic doctor’s appointment on Friday.  I am sure x-rays/MRI will be ordered.  I read this weekend that Yoga is as effective as physical therapy in regard to back issues.  I will bring that up with my doctor.  (Article) My fear is ending up with a back like my mother, so I have to nip it in the bud…for the umpteenth time.  However, this time I am dedicated to continuing the plan even when I am feeling fine.  And, to try to reverse my eating habits after some stressful weeks and an indulgent weekend, I am seeing my nutritionist on Thursday.

Let’s make 44 a healthy, happy year!

Good Morning, 44

Yesterday I was in such a foul mood all day that I had mentally prepared to write this blog about my 43rd year.  I will still write the intended post but I am not in quite the same sour mood I was when contemplating it.

I kept questioning why I was so depressed yesterday.  Was 44th the hard birthday for me?  People had said 40 would be hard but was not for me.  I was looking forward to my 40’s.  Why was turning 44 so depressing?  Then the realization was that last year was a hard year for me.

Physically, I had (have) issues with my back and had some other instances that I had to go to the doctor and, in one instance, the ER.  Hormonally, this year was utter chaos.  My testosterone levels went from non-existent to way too much and the physical ramifications of that are still rearing it’s ugly head:  body acne and body hair growth.  These were two issues I have never had in the past 43 years.  I had inquired at the OB/GYN how long I should remain on hormones (read 5 years).  They pretty much told me I could remain on them forever.  When I told my internist, she adamantly said 5 years maximum.  Since we decided to stop the pellet for 6 months due to the side effects, that means I shall remain hormone-free due to my 5 year anniversary of my hysterectomy is 2018.  Mentally/emotionally the testosterone made me more edgy and still is as I have to wait for all the excess testosterone to exit my system.  Besides the Biote hormone pellet, my 43rd year was full of medications for depression/bipolar/anxiety and allergies, as well as supplements.  I, with the help of my therapist, nutritionist and internist, have decided to wean off the majority of the medications.  Currently, my roster is fluoxetine, Zyrtec, multivitamin, probiotic, and vitamin D3.  I have cut out about 10 medications/supplements.

My 43rd year had been a year that I have dealt with being my most unhealthy self.  I have made small steps to try rectifying it but not consistently so.  In addition, 43 was a year of added stress:  Roger entering public school, my mother’s surgery, a short stint of returning to grad school, the passing of Snuffles, other family issues, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been positives (mainly on the Roger front in regards to progress/growth).  However, I do not think I have allowed myself time for grief and that is why a low mood has persisted.  Is it too late to grieve?  How can one force oneself to grieve appropriately?  Does one just move past it and say hello to the new day/the new year and push through? So many thoughts as I enter year 44…

Cranky in the a.m.

I truly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  I am not sure if it was last night’s sleep (or lack thereof), the eve of my 44th birthday, overall impatience with summer and lack of alone time.  Whatever the cause, I was not a very happy camper this morning and was not very nice to my husband and son.  Of course, having my time alone and my morning “bike ride”, I feel much more settled and calm.

I wish I was better at coping and not so outwardly cranky.  Roger gets ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) to teach him how to deal with situations better and act appropriately.  Clearly, I could use some ABA too!

 

Mid-week, week 3

It’s officially mid-week of Week 3 of Summer.  I am feeling pretty at ease this late morning.  This week I have finished Season 3 of Kimmy Schmidt and am finishing up on the amazing Season 2 of Catastrophe.  I love this show so much that I enjoyed watching this season for a second time.  Watching a show like Catastrophe makes me feel like myself.  I don’t get to explore life like I did pre-Roger in the city, but this gives me a dose of happiness.  It’s definitely not a show for everyone, but a perfect fit for me.

With Roger at a camp so nearby, I get to walk him and the dogs to and from camp.  I enjoy that little bit of outdoors, even though it’s already hot and humid at 9 in the morning.  That is making my mood a bit cheerier, as well as riding the exercise bike the past 3 days.

If I think about it, what is really making my mood stable is routine.  I LOVE routine and consistency.  The lack of spontaneity may make me seem a bit boring and I always wished I could be more spontaneous but this is my happy place.

Week 3 of Summer

The week tends to begin on a great note.  Monday goes as scheduled.  However, life is unpredictable, so the rest of the week may not go as smoothly.  Just as last week, this week I am hopeful.  Perhaps, I am even more hopeful due to the fact that Roger LOVED camp last week.  Tomorrow, he begins a different camp that he will be going to for two weeks (6 half days) in June and two weeks in July.  This camp we can walk to which makes drop off and pick up so easy!

Friday, I turn 44.  I had so many high hopes for my wellness by this time in the year.  I have not been consistent in exercise or healthy eating.  My back issues have also resurfaced, so I have an appointment the end of the month.  I am really at a loss about how to make wellness part of my routine.  I subscribe to emails for inspiration, use apps inconsistently, and just cannot put the drive back into me.  Summer’s chaotic schedule does not help, since my sitter and my son’s therapy/camp time is used exclusively for my work schedule.  In between therapies, work, and play dates/swimming, there is virtually no free time until roughly 8 pm at night and I am zonked by then.  I don’t want to wait 2.5 months to have a routine.  This has all dampened my mood, as well.  My anxiety and depression have been surfacing a lot lately this summer.  I read that blogging can help with anxiety, so I hope to write more this week.

If you are in the same boat (or have been in the past), let me know what worked for you to snap out of it and into a successful wellness routine.

 

Week 2 of Summer

I would like to start this post by thanking those family members and friends that have reached out in concern of my mother and myself.  It is so very sweet that we are in your thoughts and that you have reached out.  Again, thank you all very much!

Week 2 of Summer begins a little easier than last week.  Perhaps, it is due to my mindset.  Last night, although up late, I was able to finally spend some alone time with my husband and watch the first few episodes of this season’s Orange is the New Black.  If it hadn’t been midnight, I would have stayed up longer.  This season is just so good!  That, and last week’s Comey testimony, let me escape myself and focus on life outside of our bubble.

With my mind a little de-stressed, I am happy to announce that, although still in excruciating pain, my mother is finally reaping the benefits of in-home physical therapy and able to move about the apartment with either the use of a wheelchair or walker.  That, of course, also puts my mind a tad at ease and am happy her follow-up appointment is Wednesday where her pain medications should be sorted out and aide in her recovery.

On the home front, today’s maintenance was having our dryer vent cleaned.  The roof inspector said it was a hazard and needed to be done soon.  The tech who came out said there was a lot of lint but has seen much, much worse.  I asked him a timeline of when we should have it done again (websites all claim yearly).  He said with a family of 3 and pets, he recommends every 8-10 years!  This type of honesty makes me smile ear to ear.

Finally, tomorrow Roger begins the first of his part-time summer camps.  This one is Wacky Olympics at Yogi Kids.  The past couple of days he has told me how much he is going to miss me and how he is nervous about going to camp.  Believe me Roger, I am too!