April 25, 2013 – Distractions no longer working

Last night, around midnight, I woke up to use the toilet.  Snuffles came in and laid down.  I brought her into the office to be with Rob.  Crawled back into bed, yet I could not fall back asleep.

The thought(s) keeping me awake:  my upcoming surgery.  I started thinking about Monday’s pre-op appointment, the day of surgery, the aftermath, etc.  I think the focus of my last couple of weeks, Roger’s appointments and finding a dog, were wonderful distractions from me.

Yesterday, at Roger’s playgroup, a mother told me that her mother-in-law just had a laparoscopic hysterectomy three weeks ago.  She just returned to work and is still in pain.  Now I am very worried as to how Roger will respect my body’s need for recovery.  He is too young to understand.  He touches everything roughly, not meaning to do harm.  We have been trying to teach him gentle, especially with the addition of Snuffles.  However, he is not good at generalizing this skill.

There are two weeks left to worry, have night terrors, be sleep deprived all in the name of obsessing over my surgery.  I am glad I chose the first available appointment, otherwise this brain racking would continue for a longer time.

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