Well, last night was the second support group meeting and attendance was up! Instead of two (Rob and I), it shot up to four (another couple). That might not sound earth-shattering to you. However, if the numbers keeps doubling each meeting…you do the math!
Actually, it was really nice being able to talk about parenthood with another couple in a similar situation. Our sons’ first six months mirrored each other. We discussed the difficulty, the depression, the questioning, the endless cries that could not be soothed, the difficulty getting our children to sleep, and the hatred of the baby swing! The continuing issues with eating, the sensory integration issues, the autism diagnosis. Although that may not sound like “happy” conversational topics, it was always nice to see each other looking at our kids with smiles on our faces at what they are doing and not dwelling on what they are not doing.
The only downside of the meeting was Roger’s reaction to the scenario. He did not have a meltdown or cry or make any sort of fuss. Instead, overwhelmed by all the new stimulation, Roger completely shut down and went into his own world. My husband showed up after we did and Roger did not acknowledge him at all. I would physically bring Roger up to his father and he would not glance at him, acknowledge him, or react in any way. After several attempts, I noticed he did not even seem to “see” me or anyone else in the room. He did, at the beginning, stroll around looking at different toys and objects (especially the lights and fans). Eventually, he just sat by a tricycle and played with the wheels. Nothing could tear him away.
If not for the conversation, I would have been quite depressed. Rob actually said, after the meeting, how hurt he was that Roger did not even care he was there. Today, he has been going in and out of his own world. He does not want to do what is asked of him, but does not seem to know what he wants to do either. We have been told there will be ups and downs, progression and regression.
The past few weeks have been fantastic, so we may be having a few “not-so-fantastic” days.
Spinning Wheels 